The world runs in black and white, meaning that people believe in the concept of either this, that or nothing else. However, I encountered this saying while selecting a course to study after my tenth grade.
I don't know the exact time it happened, but I had built a strong urge to explore the literary world, and I knew that studying the arts would help me find my way to it. I was ready to steer clear of the bandwagon and pursue the ever-villainised “humanities”. My decision was final and my parents were on board, but, as expected, the society wasn't.
The three-month-long break after my SEE was filled with only one question, "Science or management?", and that was my world's black and white. Until today, most people in Nepal believe that studying science must be your truth, and if not science, then try pursuing management instead! When I expressed my idea beyond those two, I was met with a bamboozled face and a piece of advice that I was tired of hearing, "You should take up A-levels or IB instead!". I thought that I had won the war after completing my tenth grade. But surprisingly, it had just begun because the battle of prioritising my pull while constantly being manipulated by the customary “canon event”—choosing science and realizing that it makes you miserable—was a tough one to fight. So, back then, all I could do was let out a sigh!
Import of sheep and mountain goats starts through Tatopani
One of my friends' fathers was a literature teacher who taught the plus-two students in my school. I was gathered with the idea of how cool he must be to be pursuing and teaching literature. Once, when visiting the friend's house, I also met her father. It was the first time I had seen him outside the school premises. He asked what I was planning on studying after the break was over. With an expectation of his approval, I proudly announced that I would pursue the arts. Reality swooped in when the teacher I admired raised his hand, imitating a slap and uttering, and I quote, "paiya garchhu ma", propagating his disapproval of my decision. He might not have slapped me, but the dilemma did.
Before deciding to undertake humanities in plus-two, my middle-school self also thought that I would end up studying science like my father and brother or else management like my mum. With time, I had figured out my calling. Nevertheless, the itch of "what if" remained somewhere in my subconscious, and this small incident with a teacher, himself an arts student, ignited it towards my consciousness, too. However, I clung to my calling, stood up to the questions, and answered them through my achievements.
When I look back at that time today, I pat my own shoulders—literally and figuratively, both—for not stepping back from following my pull. During those two years of plus-two, I lived in the land of Shakespeare, John Donne, Francis Bacon, Willa Cather, Kate Chopin and Gabriel Garcia Marquez's words. I got to experience society through the eyes of Dor Bahadur Bista, Karl Marx, Sigmund Freud and others. Following my passion, which was merely a hobby in the eyes of society, was the best decision I made. I understood the intricacies of the world and its people better when I submerged myself within the beautifully crafted thoughts of the artisans. I ultimately quit my literature-centric skin and adapted to mass media, but I wouldn't have reached my high if I had let the societal black-and-white dictate my future.
Picking humanities in plus-two because it is your genuine inclination does not make you an “incapable” human. Rather, it is a sign that you have successfully identified yourself and your goal. Choosing humanities as a subject means that you are embracing creativity, critical thinking, and a deeper understanding of society. It reflects courage to follow passion over pressure, and the confidence to carve your own path.
Therefore, you must step into the grey to embrace and understand that the blinding ideas of the black-and-white single stories are suppressing our abilities to think beyond. Till today, I am the only one among my immediate family members to pursue the arts, and that is how I became a black sheep or rather the grey sheep of the herd, and I must say that it is my favourite colour of me.
