KATHMANDU, June 10: What begins as a relationship built on trust and companionship is increasingly ending in violence and death in Nepal, with a rising number of cases of spouses killing their partners over disputes, separation, and emotional breakdowns.
On Friday, 42-year-old Kumar Thapa allegedly stabbed and killed his wife, 42-year-old Ishwari Bhujel, in Kathmandu’s Tarkeshwar. According to Nepal Police, preliminary investigations suggest the killing was linked to a deteriorating marital relationship.
The couple were reportedly in the final stages of divorce. Bhujel, who served in the Nepali Army, was returning home from an office dinner when she was attacked. She was rushed to the hospital in critical condition but could not be saved.
The couple have two sons. Thapa, a wrestler, has been arrested and is in police custody. Police have also detained others suspected of involvement in the incident.
Just two days earlier, another woman was killed in a similar incident in Chhaling in Bhaktapur. Thirty-eight-year-old Bidur Bishwakarma, who had been living there, allegedly killed his 33-year-old wife, Salina Tolange Bishwakarma, with a weapon inside their rented room. Their eight-year-old son was also injured in the attack.
In the third week of May, 42-year-old Om Kumari Bhujel of Hetauda Sub-Metropolitan City-1 died after being severely beaten by her husband, Ramlal Blon. Police have arrested Blon and launched legal proceedings.
In another incident in Jhapa’s Haldibari Rural Municipality, 44-year-old Gokarna Bhandari allegedly killed his 33-year-old wife, Urmila Bhandari, with a sharp weapon. Police have taken him into custody.
Likewise, in Gulmi, 43-year-old Ami Kumal died after sustaining serious injuries in an alleged assault by her husband, 45-year-old Thaman Kumal. He has also been arrested.
These cases represent only a fraction of a troubling pattern. Police data show a steady rise in killings within marital relationships in recent years.
A disturbing pattern
Why relationships fail
According to Nepal Police statistics, 68 women have been killed by their husbands since mid-July of the current fiscal year. During the same period, seven husbands were killed by their wives.
In the previous fiscal year 2024/25, 69 women were killed by their husbands, while 16 men were killed by their wives.
Taken together, the data show that in the past 23 months, 137 women were killed by their husbands, compared to 23 men killed by their wives.
Violence is not limited to spouses alone. Police records show that 142 people were killed by relatives in the current fiscal year. Fourteen parents were also killed by their own children during the same period.
Between mid-July and mid-May of the current fiscal year, 429 murder cases were recorded nationwide, including 253 men, 144 women, 18 boys and 14 girls. In the previous fiscal year, 522 murders were reported across the country.
An analysis of the data suggests that killings of wives by husbands account for the largest share of domestic homicides.
Causes behind the violence
According to SSP and Nepal Police information officer Deep Shamsher Rana, marital disputes, extramarital affairs, alcohol abuse and drug use are among the major factors behind such crimes.
He also pointed to family fragmentation caused by foreign employment, the rise of nuclear families, and rapid social and economic change as key stressors within households.
“As conflicts and stress intensify, some cases escalate into homicide,” Rana said. “Persistent disputes and emotional strain can push individuals toward destructive behaviour.”
‘Violence rooted in toxic patriarchy’
Sociologist and anthropologist Dr Janak Kumar Rai argues that toxic patriarchy remains a central factor behind rising cases of wives being killed by husbands.
“Men do not commit such crimes simply because they are angry or arrogant,” Rai said. “These acts are often rooted in deeply embedded patriarchal attitudes.”
He said women’s increasing resistance to oppression is sometimes met with violent backlash from men who feel their authority is being challenged.
“The belief that women must be controlled through physical violence can escalate into murder,” he said.
Rai also cited social media, economic inequality, and weak enforcement of laws as contributing factors.
“Even online hostility toward women who speak up reflects patriarchal thinking,” he said. “The state, society and law enforcement all share responsibility when protective laws are not effectively implemented.”
Psychological and social pressures
Psychiatrist Dr Saroj Ojha said changing social and economic conditions, along with personality traits shaped by early life experiences, can contribute to violent behaviour.
He noted that rising material aspirations, comparison culture and financial stress are increasing pressure on families.
“Society has changed rapidly, and so have people’s expectations,” Bajra said. “In some cases, these pressures turn into aggression.”
He added that personality is largely shaped from pregnancy to age 18. Children exposed to violence or neglect may later struggle with anger, revenge, impulsiveness and emotional control.
“When emotional distance develops between partners, unresolved issues can escalate into violence,” he said.
Alcohol, affairs and family breakdown
Psychologist Pashupati Mahat said rising alcohol and drug use, extramarital relationships, economic stress and family breakdown are making some individuals more prone to violence.
He noted that substance abuse often increases suspicion, aggression and physical violence.
“Many men seek relationships outside marriage when dissatisfied,” he said. “When such relationships are exposed, conflicts can escalate into tragedy.”
Mahat also pointed to the lack of communication between couples as a key issue, leading to emotional distance and instability.
He added that severe mental illness, personality disorders and past violent behaviour can also contribute to homicide, but stressed that counselling, therapy, awareness campaigns and support services can help prevent such outcomes.
